How Wizards Can Avoid The Wrath Of Muggles

 

Introduction

Most advice given to APs focuses on how to avoid detection by the house. A lot of this advice is bad.This is also the reason we offer our class Getting Away With It, which goes into detail about how to successfully count cards in a casino while avoiding detection.

A lot of people become irrationally angry when I tell them that blackjack authors are giving bad advice, because they suffer from rigid thinking. It’s fine if you get angry and disagree with me, it’s not fine if you have no basis for your disagreement.

There is a source of heat that is often complained about, but rarely discussed in a systematic manner. That is, the screeching of muggles: those who do not use magic. These muggles also known as “ploppies” or “civilians.” I prefer the term muggle, because I enjoy being a wizard, and I think you might enjoy it too.

What Is Muggle Heat?

Burn The Witch!

Muggle heat is when one of the muggles begins to squawk about something you have done. In milder forms, it can consist of sighing, questioning your play, insults, mockery, and comments to the dealer. These are irritating, but not necessarily a major threat.

The major threat comes from escalated muggle heat. Sometimes the muggles will get extremely aggressive with their questioning. They may get loud and draw attention from the pit. They may ask questions about things you do not wish to be planted into the mind of your enemy. If they get extremely aggressive, they may draw attention from security. They may even attempt to physically assault you (I have had this happen).

What Brings Muggle Heat?

The play of the hands is the primary reason (unlike casino heat). Muggle get mad if you hit a stiff against a bust card, and take a 10 that would have busted the dealer. Muggles also tend to get mad when you do certain aggressive splits, such as 9s vs. a low card, and doubles on soft 18. Occasionally, they get mad when you surrender if they lose the hand.

Another reason is changing the number of hands being played. Muggles believe that this disrupts the sacred “flow” of the cards (a myth perpetuated by casino employees), which causes them to lose. If you add or remove a hand, leave or join mid-shoe, muggles can become upset if this disrupts their sacred religious rituals.

How to Deal With Muggle Heat

The first line of defense against muggles is to prevent the attack from ever beginning. Cultivate a team atmosphere on the game, treat the muggles as the masters of blackjack; especially do not worry about trying to be right! You want them to look right, while you look like a muggle.

The second line of defense is diffusion strategies. These involve trying to calm the tension; perhaps you can defer to the muggle’s mastery by apologizing for taking the “bus’ card”. Tell them that you guessed wrong, and you should have listened to them. Even if they get aggressive, a calm, low-ego agreement with the muggles can turn down the heat.

I’ve avoided fights by agreeing that my mother is a whore, that all of us (my race) people are the same, and similar methods. Take your ego out of it; you’re in a battle, and the goal is to get the money, not win an argument with noncombatants. Further, remember that you do not have any inherently greater right to be there. God (and Samuel Colt) made us all equal.

The third line of defense is indirect aggression. Rolling the eyes and sighing without direct comment can do wonders to demotivate your attacker. Hitting 15 v. 5 with a minimum bet might clear a table as well. This can be a small price to pay on a minimum bet in a valuable game that is at risk. Finally, sometimes you can turn people away with slightly smartass questions: “Is this your money?” is a lot better than “Everyone knows you hit 12 v. 2, look at a basic strategy card!”

The fourth line of defense is direct countermeasures. You may choose to stop making the offending play if there is real risk to a valuable game, or threat of physical assault. You might leave, especially if another game is available. You can get directly confrontational with someone who is out of line, such as “I didn’t ask you,” or “You play your money, I’ll play mine.” State these flatly, not in a way that invites a response.

The final line of defense is telling on them. If there is a real threat to your physical safety, get out, get away, then decide if you want to inform security. If there is a truly obnoxious player that is absolutely disrupting the game, a floor person or security can sometimes be invoked to cool them off or remove them. This is always a risky proposition, and should only be done if the game is threatened, not due to annoyance.

Conclusion

Muggles have every right to be there, and should be marshaled to your side whenever possible. Proactive defense against the muggle arts is best, but if you must escalate, only do so when the game is at risk. Take your ego out of it, and be objective.